Breakfast started out quietly, both ruminating over how to go about the truth. It had been hard enough for Sam to hold it in for this long and all the words he went over in his head seemed contrived and pointless. How do you explain this to someone? It requires a bit more subtlety and tact than just coming out and saying it, but subtlety and tact were two things Sam had very little of. Despite the quiet nature, a severe lack of social communication stunted Sam's knowledge of conversational navigation.
For the time being, Sam was content to hid behind a menu and make off-handed remarks about what looked good. All Glenn ever responded with was a non-committal grunt. He was caught up in how to force the answer out of Sam. Glenn knew how much he struggled with big news, it took him a day and a half just to tell Glenn he was getting a dog. Sam took a certain amount of coaxing to reveal answers, but this was so far and beyond either of their normal behavior that Glenn was concerned. It's not often an 18-year-old boy takes all of his college money and wastes it on a cross country trip just to see a girl. Something was lurking beneath the surface and Glenn was determined to find out just what that was. He wanted desperately to just grab Sam by the shoulders and shake him until the answers fell out, but before he could reach across the table their food came.
2 and a half months ago
Love was a strange concept for Sam to grasp, but it felt almost instinctual to him to know when you really are in love. This was bigger than the time he swore we was in love with Sandy Marsion, who kissed him in 5th grade. That was just two kids wrapped up in the emotion of a 5th grade dance and a bump from Glenn that forced Sam and Sandy to get much closer than they intended. He always felt a bit ashamed that his first kiss wasn't as romantic as he wanted, but Sam knew he wouldn't do most things for the first time unless Glenn gave him the proper encouragement.
Sam always kind of hated Glenn's sometimes overly-aggressive behavior, but it was also nice to know someone was always in his corner. Sam's parents weren't too keen on computer engineering or any of the other majors he considered, but anytime he talked with Glenn there was nothing but support. It was kind of like walking a tight-rope, Sam was never quite sure if he was going in the right direction or in danger of falling, yet he wasn't afraid usually because he had Glenn as a safety net. However, this current romance with Remi didn't have a safety net and maybe that's why Sam was so terrified when he opened his phone.
"Heyyy hun :)" Sam felt his heart stop and stomach twist as he read the greeting. Hun? He had grown somewhat accustomed to the nicknames, but for some reason this seemed to have more behind it. They had joked back and forth about dating or how nice it would be to have someone, but was she being serious now? Is this her subtle way of telling him it's official? It was impossible for Sam to decipher the subtlety of language when people were talking to him, so the fact that he only had a text to work off of made it exponentially harder.
"Ur laptop has a cam right?" came the next text, not waiting for Sam's hesitant, over-thinking response.
"Yeah, why?" No sense in thinking about this, might as well just get to the point.
"Open skype ;) I wanna see your face" There came the flutters again. He said OK, albeit reluctantly, and opened his laptop up.
In the first few moments of loading up and starting his heart started pounding. The static images on Facebook and his phone were always enough to keep him content, but apparently she felt differently. He had really wanted to ask her for a long time, but was scared that for her this was just a cute little game and he was her piece to play with. Now though, she was initiating contact and maybe that meant there was something real here. Sam was still terrified that the sheer force of her beauty and dynamism in comparison to his dullness would kill any spark there might be. Before he could back out, the call came in. It was too late now to just close the laptop and run like he'd always done, but with mouse in shaky hand he accepted the call and his ensuing fate.
"Hey" He was floored, he was always scared of being "catfished" but seeing her face and confirming she was real didn't even matter because for the first time, despite knowing her for a few months, Sam heard her voice. He was already deeply in love with her and this was just the icing on the cake. It was the soft, reassuring voice that he'd been needing in his life. Sam could barely respond with anything more than a stupid smile and dry throat.
The rest of the conversation is a blur to Sam, he was so intently focused on taking in every detail of how Remi moved and spoke, how her hair fell around her face when she looked down and laugh, the ever so small dimples she had when smiling, and most importantly the sincerity in her voice when they confessed their feelings.
"I know this is gonna sound stupid Sammy, but I really do kinda maybe sorta like you." She smiled bashfully looking away from the screen again.
Then came the flutters again, "I really like you too you know? I don't think I've really hidden that." Sam responded and they both laughed. He had imagined this really heartfelt speech, but words were not his strong point and that was the best he could come up with.
The conversation then proceeded forward with compliments back and forth, lots of blushing, and Sam's desperate longing to be able to reach through the computer. He hadn't even noticed that an hour had passed by. The knock on his door and announcement of dinner unfortunately snapped him back to reality and the flutters died down.
"I uh...I guess I gotta go." He sighed a bit as she said bye as well and they both lingered on the screen for a bit. ".....I love you Remi." Sam said before shutting the laptop down, unaware he had even said that out loud. His phone remained silent throughout dinner and the rest of the night. Normally, this would've bothered Sam but he was so caught up in remembering every detail of her that again time became irrelevant to him and the only thing that stopped him was finally drifting off to sleep. The only thing he heard was her voice in his sleep, no dreams or images, just a soft voice that told him everything was going to be OK and for the first time he actually believed it would be.
"Ur laptop has a cam right?" came the next text, not waiting for Sam's hesitant, over-thinking response.
"Yeah, why?" No sense in thinking about this, might as well just get to the point.
"Open skype ;) I wanna see your face" There came the flutters again. He said OK, albeit reluctantly, and opened his laptop up.
In the first few moments of loading up and starting his heart started pounding. The static images on Facebook and his phone were always enough to keep him content, but apparently she felt differently. He had really wanted to ask her for a long time, but was scared that for her this was just a cute little game and he was her piece to play with. Now though, she was initiating contact and maybe that meant there was something real here. Sam was still terrified that the sheer force of her beauty and dynamism in comparison to his dullness would kill any spark there might be. Before he could back out, the call came in. It was too late now to just close the laptop and run like he'd always done, but with mouse in shaky hand he accepted the call and his ensuing fate.
"Hey" He was floored, he was always scared of being "catfished" but seeing her face and confirming she was real didn't even matter because for the first time, despite knowing her for a few months, Sam heard her voice. He was already deeply in love with her and this was just the icing on the cake. It was the soft, reassuring voice that he'd been needing in his life. Sam could barely respond with anything more than a stupid smile and dry throat.
The rest of the conversation is a blur to Sam, he was so intently focused on taking in every detail of how Remi moved and spoke, how her hair fell around her face when she looked down and laugh, the ever so small dimples she had when smiling, and most importantly the sincerity in her voice when they confessed their feelings.
"I know this is gonna sound stupid Sammy, but I really do kinda maybe sorta like you." She smiled bashfully looking away from the screen again.
Then came the flutters again, "I really like you too you know? I don't think I've really hidden that." Sam responded and they both laughed. He had imagined this really heartfelt speech, but words were not his strong point and that was the best he could come up with.
The conversation then proceeded forward with compliments back and forth, lots of blushing, and Sam's desperate longing to be able to reach through the computer. He hadn't even noticed that an hour had passed by. The knock on his door and announcement of dinner unfortunately snapped him back to reality and the flutters died down.
"I uh...I guess I gotta go." He sighed a bit as she said bye as well and they both lingered on the screen for a bit. ".....I love you Remi." Sam said before shutting the laptop down, unaware he had even said that out loud. His phone remained silent throughout dinner and the rest of the night. Normally, this would've bothered Sam but he was so caught up in remembering every detail of her that again time became irrelevant to him and the only thing that stopped him was finally drifting off to sleep. The only thing he heard was her voice in his sleep, no dreams or images, just a soft voice that told him everything was going to be OK and for the first time he actually believed it would be.
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