Jake and Ralphy: The Girl

     They say you see a lot of weird things in the big cities and that's somewhat true I guess. My name is Jake Allograth and I live in a fairly standard apartment in Brooklyn. I work as one of those dorky delivery guys on bicycles and have seen my fair share of the creeps and crawlers that inhabit this town. I've seen a guy get his order while dressed as a clown and another lady pull the cash from her what I hope were originally brown panties. Still none of that compares to the everyday weirdness I encounter. You ever feel like something weird is going on around you but you're the only one who notices? That's kind of my situation. Anyways it's the end of a long day so I hop on the elevator hearing the faint call of a woman pleading me to hold the door. I almost didn't until I saw that it was Ashlyn and seized the opportunity to be next to her. I've had a crush on her since she moved in, but I've been to scared to say anything real.
     "Phew, Thanks Jake!" she smiled, exhausted but happy.
     "Oh pfft that? It was nothing" I smiled back awkwardly trying to be nonchalant and just looking idiotic.
     Well that went...tragically. The rest of the trip up, to the 8th floor, was painfully quiet. We departed sharing another awkward exchange as I entered my apartment and she continued to hers 4 doors down. I sighed tossing my bag on the floor by the entrance. The only good part about being back in this cramped apartment was Ralphy being somewhat excited to see me. Ralphy is my little Jack Russel that I've had since he was a little pup.
     "Soo how'd things go?" he asked jumping back onto the couch as I went to the fridge for a beer.
     Yeah, that's right Ralphy can talk and why you ask? Hell if I know, he just sorta can I don't quite get it either but I'm used to it. He can be a sarcastic little prick sometimes though, but that might just be the New Yorker in him.
     "They went, another awkward exchange with Ashlyn in the elevator though." I responded walking back into the living room.
     He wheeled around raising up putting his front paws on the back of the couch, "Dude when are you going to man up and ask her out?"
     "It's not that easy Ralphy, I'm not like you," I said cracking open the can, "I mean I can't just go up and sniffer her ass and say how's your morning?"
     "Well why the hell not?"
     I laughed a bit, "People just don't work that way man. You have to take them out and spend money on them." I walked around sitting down on the couch, "Money I don't have."
     "Then can't humans just get new jobs?" he said facing me again.
     "Again, not that easy," I sighed heavily "I've been submitting stuff to publications all the time but it's hard."
     I turned on the TV after that not really wanting to carry on the conversation, it's one thing to talk about it but it's a whole other thing to talk about it with your dog. I hated my job and this crappy little life, but it's what I was stuck to for now at least. The hardest part about wanting to be a wirter in the NY area is that another thousand people are thinking the same thing so I slumped down in the cushion and surfed the channels resigning to mediocrity.
     "Come on buddy let's get a walk in!" Ralphy began insisting after a bit of pawing at my arm. He may only be a dog but there is something to be said about the thought that animals can pick up on emotions because he's pretty good at it. I got up and grabbed his leash, hooking him up, and headed out the door.
     "Oh boy a walk a walk a walk!!" he was like a kid waking up on Christmas but I noticed he got a lot quieter when he heard a door open so I looked over to investigate. Ashlyn had walked out of the door, dressed up for something. Ralphy began asking who it was but I nudged him to shut up quickly. I still wasn't quite sure if others heard him but I didn't want to seem crazy talking to a dog.
     "Oh hey! Is that your dog?" Ashlyn asked as she approached noticing Ralphy before me, how lucky, and the smug SOB wagged his tail when she patted him and smirked up at me.
     "Uhh yeah Ralphy, he's about 3 years old." I smiled watching her. "So uh what are you all dressed up for?"
     "It's nothing," she giggled blushing a bit, "just a silly date."
     My heart sank and Ralphy lost that smug little grin as we both knew how much this sucked for me. We exchanged a few more pleasantries before she rushed off and we stood there in silence.
     "I'm sorry man...betcha the guys a douche anyways." Ralphy finally spoke up to break the ice.
     "Yeah that seems to be how it goes." I smiled half-heartedly before my hand was tugged, "What are you doing?"
     "Well just cause you're pissy doesn't mean we aren't having a walk come on!" he pulled me towards the elevator and we left. I may not have the girl or the job yet but for now at least I have Ralphy.