Énouement: Chapter 4

     There was a soft laugh as Eliza leaned her body into Sam's, both of them smiling. Out of the three of us, not a one had any plans on going home during Spring Break so we decided to make it a party of our own. The campus areas were still open, but the place was so dead even the officers were barely seen. Eliza and Sam made the decision to have 2PM picnic in the main campus area and tasked me with providing the alcohol because I was the only one of age to do so and what's a picnic without wine?

     We lost track of time being out there for so long and being drunk, well they were drunk and I was what barely qualifies for tipsy as an Aussie, for about half of that unknown time. It really was a beautiful scene though; the lovers safely snug together, the sun starting to set, the warmth of alcohol in our blood, it was one of those moments that you remember for a long time despite nothing particularly interesting happening. To some it probably would have just been a day, but to me I think it was the last time I saw Sam's big, doofy smile. The last time it was genuine at least.

      7:00 AM my phone read in a blinding light that is unholy for this time in the morning. Sam was showering, which is what woke me up. I opted to skip, as disgusting as that sounds, having little energy to actually bathe myself. I wasn't planning on picking up any dates and it was hard enough just to pull pants on, any further physical exertion was out of the question.

     "Oi, mate." I called, banging on the door, "When are we getting on the road then?"

      With no response, I sighed and exited our room. People say nature is great in it's majesty, but with my eyes having not yet adjusted fully the sun comes off as more of an asshole. I sat down on the trunk of Sam's car, idly going over texts in my phone. Sifting through hours and months of text messages either with Sam or Eliza, there had to be something there to give me a hint as to what the hell was going on. Did they break up? Did she cheat on him? What was happening here? My dream of being Batman might die here in this parking lot because I am a terrible detective, nothing of value was found in the texts,

      "Ready to go then?" Sam said as he approached the car, hand-drying his hair.

      "Physically yes," I responded with a long sigh, "Mentally no."

      "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

      I hopped off the trunk trying my best to remain calm, "What I mean, mate, is what the fuck is going on? You drag me out of my dorm at 2 in the damn morning. Then we go driving for hours on end and you won't tell me why. Just some bullshit about needing answers, well I need some fucking answers too Sam."

      He shrugged as if this was all new information to him, "I just thought a trip sounded ni-"

      I cut Sam off, grabbing his jacket and slamming him against the door of his car, "Enough of the jokes, enough of dodging the question. Why are we out here Sam?"

      It almost broke my heart to finally see his eyes soften like they did, melting into that expression where the word sadness doesn't begin to describe it. Almost, but I had to keep pressing if we were going to make any headway in this.

      "E.....Eliza and I are done. We broke up a couple of weeks ago." The words came out in a broken, dejected sound as I softened the grip on his jacket.

      "And a cross country trip is going to fix that? Or is the whole goal to forget about her?"

      "No...no it's not that." His voice was so soft I could barely hear him, especially over the sound of my own voice.

      "And now that I think about it we aren't anywhere close to where she lives, so what the hell? Where even are we?" I backed up from Sam a bit as I kept talking, trying to sort through my own thoughts out loud.

     "I cheated on Eliza, that's why we broke up." He stammered out.

     "W-what was that?" I had to stammer as well, reeling a bit from this revelation.

     "N-not like physically I guess, I don't know man. It's complicated." Sam couldn't manage to look me in the eyes anymore, I don't blame him.

     "Not physically? What? OK, you're going to need to back track a bit here mate because there's something here I'm clearly not getting. You cheated on Eliza, but not physically? Did you sleep with a ghost? I'm so lost here, help me." Cheating may seem like second nature for most people these days, but for Sam it was a miracle that he could find one woman to enjoy his company, let alone two.

    "I don't know how to explain it Glenn," he ran a hand through his hair, letting out an exasperated sigh.

    "Well you got plenty of time to get it together because we aren't leaving until we do."

     Sam kept scanning and staring at the ground as if it was going to give him an answer.

     "I'll call Eliza and get this sorted out if you won't answer me. Christ! What was the plan on this trip? Hop in a car and drive until you forget about her?" I don't know why this had made me so angry, but it did. I could feel my skin heating up and was quite aware I was probably causing a seen, that didn't matter much though.

      "I don't know what the plan was!" Sam finally snapped creating a moment of awkward silence between us. "Look, I really don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm acting on instinct man, instinct and a shit ton of panic because I don't know what's happening anymore. Things with Eliza were fine and all, but I met this girl online."

      "For fu-...Sam, don't tell me we are driving all this way out for a fucking catfish mate. Please, Sam tell me that's not what we're doing." I pleaded, almost ready to punch him for the amount of stupid I was hearing at this moment.

      "I will tell you, if you'll shut up for a minute and actually let me talk." We both sighed at the same time.

      "Before we start anything, I really need to smoke mate. You're making my blood pressure rise." I said, fishing the pack and a lighter out of my pocket.

      "Pretty sure it's those that are making your BP go up." He smirked before I hit him in the arm, motioning towards a park.

       This was going to be an interesting story. The tension in this short walk over was killing me faster than cigarettes ever could, but we did our best to smile and hide the fear and anger in both of our hearts. This was a very un-Sam thing to do, but he's a terrible liar so at least I know whatever he's going to say is the truth. To be honest though, I think that's what really scares me. I took a position sitting on top of a picnic table, Sam took the accompanying bench.

      He tilted his head back as if he were observing clouds and let out a long sigh, "All right..."

Home

They say we all eventually die alone, well if that's true then I want to live for the little moments that make it feel like home. See, I never feel completely comfortable in a single place and so I end up floating by trying to find some living space. A spot of my own, one where I can be alone, or maybe surrounded by a crowd, I'm not quite sure mainly just thinking aloud. Making up my mind is hard because life happens real quick so it seems hard for anything substantial to stick. But at the same time, life is the longest thing we do it doesn't matter if it's me or you. So, while I'm content to drift in an endless nature, it's in that wanderlust I find my soul nurtured. It may be strange to some and down right scary to others, to have no end in sight, but for all it's perceived haunts this path is my plight. Regardless, I'll continue on and push forward because life never comes with a foreword. There's no preset plan to guide us through there is really only you. Who knows? Maybe some day you'll find those moments that feel like home and you'll watch your soul grow.