It’s nice to wake up with someone lying next to in bed and
the subtle shifting of another body is what woke Jake up on this Sunday. Pleased with his seemingly good luck, he
stretched his hand over to get a quick feel
of his new partner. His hand, however, landed on something decidedly
inhuman and as a matter of fact quite furry, it took his brain a few
sleep-burdened moments to process this information before he recoiled and sat
up.
“Ralphy, what the hell?” he screamed.
The sheets and comforter soon become a chaotic flopping mess
as the form of a small Jack Russell Terrier freed itself from the bed’s
clutches, “What?! Huh?! Who’s here?” the small, raspy voice came from the pup
with a slight Brooklyn accent.
“God, man I told you no sleeping in the bed.” Jake got out
of bed, holding his head a bit as he shuffled over to his dresser. “Man I gotta
stop drinking so much.” He muttered to himself.
“You know, you keep saying that,” Ralphy jumped down from
the bed, his claws clacking on the wooden floor, “But you’ve never really given
me a good reason as to why I can’t.”
“Because!” Jake angrily removed a pair of jeans and some
other clothes from his dresser, “You shed a ridiculous amount and it’s
ridiculously itchy.”
“Oh come on Jake, I don’t shed that much.” He protested as Jake stared him down giving the
comforter a firm slap releasing a cloud of dog hairs into the air, “…All right
you got me there, then at least buy me a bed man, this floor sucks.”
“Be happy you have anywhere to sleep, runt.” Jake walked
into their bathroom, shutting the door behind him as he started the shower up.
Ralphy trotted out, following his owner as far as the living
room, muttering Jake’s last words in a mocking tone. He looked around their
small living space for something to do in the meantime. For humans it was a
pretty decent place, not so much for dogs though. The only chewable things in
the apartment were deemed “non-chewable” by the human and since the human is
the one who buys the food Ralphy did his best to respect those rules. With nothing
else to do Ralphy made his way into the kitchen to prepare himself breakfast
and by “prepare himself breakfast” he meant tipping the food bag over and
diving in head first, eating until Jake pulled him out. Since this was the
morning shower after a particularly boozy night, Ralphy estimated he had at
least 15 minutes for his feast, which in dog time is like 3 months.
The duo had been together for a few months now, starting
when Ralphy was around 4 months old. He was a free pet given to Jake after a rough
break-up as a way to cope. Neither Ralphy, Jake, nor the previous owner knew
that Ralphy could talk at the time and no one since has really been able to
explain how he can. However, with all the weird things that happen in New York
most people just kind of roll with it and don’t question it much. You gotta
love the big city.
Deep into his breakfast feast Ralphy didn’t hear the
footsteps behind him and as a result he was suddenly in the air. The squirming
kicked in almost immediately trying to fight off this unknown assailant, that
is until he heard the click of a leash being attached to his blue suede collar.
“Huh, what’s going on?” Ralphy looked up at his owner, tail
wagging hard enough to almost tip him sideways.
“We’re going to the store, you’re right, it’s time I bought
some things for you.” Jake collected his keys and wallet, phone already tucked
into his upper shirt pocket.
“You…you actually listened to me?” Ralphy said with a fake
sniffle in his voice.
“It’s kinda hard not to listen man, you never shut up.” Jake
laughed opening up the front door.
“Harsh man, harsh.” Ralphy led the way out as Jake locked
the door behind them.
Despite being only a puppy, Ralphy had the attitude and
mannerisms of a 20-something year old person which makes him advanced for his
own species. It was easy sometimes to forget that he even was a dog and not a
loudmouth roommate who doesn’t pay rent and constantly hassles you. But even
with all that, he was a great coping buddy for Jake and really helped smooth
the transition back to single life.
Halfway down the hall the dynamic duo ran into their
neighbor from two doors over Melissa, a cute brunette with a passion for
vintage but not enough to be considered hipster. Both her and Jake had a lot in
common, but in the weeks since she’s moved in not a word has been said between
them, only what information he can siphon through the walls. This time was no
different, an awkward smile and hurried shuffle as they walked by. Jake and
Ralphy then quietly got onto the elevator and took the moment between the doors
closing to watch her walk away, which was a sight in itself.
“So, uh, you ever gonna man up and talk to her?” Ralphy
queried as he led Jake out of the elevator and out of the building.
“Shut up man, I’ll do it eventually.” Jake was quickly on
the defensive.
“You said the same thing about P90X and going vegan.” The
pup chided.
“I also said that about neutering you, but I can move that
up the schedule if you’d like.” He glared down at Ralphy with a slight smirk.
“Point taken.” He concluded as they made their way down the
street which was surprisingly not busy.
The rest of the walk consisted of idle chit-chat like with
any person, complain about the fall weather, convinced thoughts that this year
will be the year of the Jets, and plans for the day. Once at the pet store, Ralphy was ecstatic
from all the instant praise he got for his mere presence there. Claims of him
being a good boy where thrown around like the phrase had no meaning. The shopping didn’t enthrall young Ralphy as
much as the doting.
When the initial compliments were done, Jake lifted Ralphy
up placing him in the little basket in the front of shopping carts that is
usually reserved for purses or children. Since Jake had neither of those
things, Ralphy was granted special privilege and has yet to squander a chance
to pretend to captain a ship. They were usually short voyages though, since a
typical shopping trip consisted of a bag of food and a bag of treats, today
however was a special extended trip. They made their way up and down the aisles
throwing in toys aplenty and some new bedding supplies.
“You know, you make for a decent first mate there Jake, I
think I’ll keep you aboard for now.” Ralphy joked as they made their way to the
registers.
“Thanks for the performance review Captain Scruffybeard.”
Jake smiled as he stopped the cart to make one last mental check that they had
everything they needed.
“I was thinking though,” Ralphy said after a moment of
silence, which Jake met with a muted ‘oh boy’, “If you’re too scared of
Melissa, maybe try asking out that cashier Allie. She might be a bit more your
speed.”
Jake took a moment to look over at her, another cute girl, a
soft blonde color to her hair that was complimented by a set of brown eyes.
“I’ve caught her looking at you a few times when we come in.” Ralphy continued.
“Oh, so now you’re not only a pirate captain, but also a
matchmaker? Sorry, but I think I’ll pass and trust my human instinct that she’s
not interested.” Jake retorted pushing their cart towards her register.
Allie smiled at them both, giving Ralphy a quick pet as Jake
loaded the items onto the counter. She was even more attractive up close and
Jake began to feel a bit intimidated by being this close. The silence really
helped boost his confidence as well.
“Well Alice, Jake here was telling me something pretty
interesting.” Ralphy finally was the one man enough to start talking despite
getting a heavy staredown from his owner.
“Oh? And what exactly would that be?” She smiled looking
between the boys, her voiced slowed down by the subtle southern twang that she
had picked up from her small city mother.
“He said that he would actually fan-“ He began smugly before
being cut off by an abrupt hand over the muzzle.
“Don’t mind him, new heartworm medication so he’s been
saying some goofy stuff lately.” Jake attempted at veering the conversation off
course.
“Aww, does our little man here have heartworms?” She gave
Ralphy’s chest a quick rub as she finished ringing things up. “Feel better soon
Ralphy.” After paying, Jake folded up the receipt and stuffed in his pocket
before waving goodbye and leaving the store, bags in tow.
The walk home was a quiet one, Jake still upset at the near
social disaster that was caused by an overly-nosey dog. Ralphy had a penchant
for sniffing around in Jake’s personal life, so much so that he began to doubt
that Ralphy wasn’t half beagle. The dog was quite proud of himself though,
walking home with his tail held just a little bit higher than usual. They
didn’t run into Melissa on their way back to the apartment, so the door was
unlocked and the pair got ready for the rest of their free afternoon. Jake
tossed the bags on the counter, taking out the stuffed fire hydrant toy and tossing
it into the waiting jaws of a hungry young pup.
Jake grabbed a water out of the fridge and then sat down on
the couch heavily sighing as he descended. Scooping the remote up in his hand
and kicking his feet up on the table, it was time to catch some crap that was
on TV and figure out his night plans. It was either go out to the bar and maybe
meet up with a friend or staying in and drinking with Ralphy. He groaned at the thought of either as he dug
in his pocket trying to fish out whatever was down there messing with his leg.
“So whafs tha deal?” Ralphy said with the hydrant still
stuffed in his mouth as he jumped up onto the couch.
“I guess nothing,” Jake sighed again pulling the crumpled
receipt from the pet store out of his pocket, unravelling it out of boredom. “Actually….it
looks like I might have plans after all.” He said with a slight grin.
Ralphy tilted his head in confusion, “What are you talking
about?” He dropped the hydrant toy out of mouth as the receipt was held before
him. It looked normal until Ralphy trailed to the bottom of the receipt where
Allie had written down her phone number. “No way. See? I told you man! Never
doubt a dog’s instincts!”
Jake smiled more and gave Ralphy a playful shove, “Well I
suppose I should see where this goes.”
