Unwoven

     Most of us live life fading in and out between moments, never taking time to examine the details of each little microcosm. We like to pretend we are defined by our bigger moments and grander actions, but those spectacles are few and far between and others pick up on the minutia of our own lives that we fail to see. The inner workings of each living and breathing moment of our lives and souls are like the threads of a tapestry, woven together to make a beautiful piece of work at a surface level, but the closer we examine the more flaws we find and loose strings we need to patch. We ignore one torn thread and it could all come apart before we have a chance to sew it back together. The unfortunate facts are that these tears and gashes are inevitable as a necessary part of the process. No one likes to show their worn down spirits, but even less want to put in the effort to repair that brokenness. Instead we simply put a patch on it and hope to God that it stays that way until our last breath. The few who decide to sit down and careful restitch our fabric often find the task difficult as their clumsy hands try and cling to anything that might help them heal. The calluses on the palms of these few are badges of courage for a person who can say they truly tried, and hopefully succeeded, in fixing that which was once broken...but those people are almost more worn down than those who seek a quick-fix. There are the few extremities that don't bother to do anything about their tattered life and display each rip and tear in boldface. Those are the heroes and martyrs of the world, the ones willing to offer up there sins and missteps for the world to learn from. Each patch and repair has a story behind it and the stories are never easy, but a patch shows that a person has closed up that wound and no longer needs to acknowledge it. The scars that are left open reveal a much greater story of trial, sorrow, and triumph over that sorrow. We think it's important to move past the tears, but if you keep them as a reminder of what happened and never allow yourself to forget then you allow it to never happen again because even though the scars may be ugly to look at and still hurt from time to time they mean something to everyone. These wounds are never easy to see, but everybody puts up a wall at first to hide themselves. The more you try and force yourself through that wall the stronger it becomes and you're fighting a losing battle. And before you try to fix someone else, make sure your own soul is prepared for it because more often than not the more you repair another the more your own soul is beaten and bruised. Those who sacrifice their own selves for that purpose are the same who refuse to patch it. It's up to us as friends, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, human beings to pick up those people offering themselves as sacrifices. Not because they can change the world or to keep them around to save more lives, but because it is those people who often feel the most on the outside despite helping so many. They are the ones who pride themselves on helping others, but refuse help for themselves. They are the ones who fade away silently into history without so much as a footnote in the books. I am one of them and I will refuse and refute those who offer help to me after reading those. All you need to know about the people like us is...do not worry, we choose this path and are set on living it. We will be the first to greet you on the other side of the Gates with a pleasant smile.